It has been a while I have not written anything. I could say that I’ve been busy keeping up with life, but the honest answer is I have lacked the inspiration and motivation to write. I wouldn’t call it a writer’s block though, that would be too high a compliment. So what changed today? Only determination.
Do you feel like a certain number of conditions must be met in order for your mind to turn on? Mine is very lazy and picky so I need to basically trick my mind into working. When it comes to my mind’s demands of conditions to be met, outside is better than home and night is better than day, however both conditions cannot be taking place together. Add in a dose of just the right level of distractions that are inspirational but not so fascinating I wouldn’t be able to get off Snapchat. I have to be fed, but not very recently. Caffeine is a must, but no more than 1.5 cups. Top it all off with the particular mood range somewhere between super serene and crazy hyper. And then we have ourselves a starting sentence.
So when today offered an opportunity for me to go to a new place and have the whole day to myself, I decided to write. I got up with the birds, dropped off my husband at work, and caught up on sleep… in the car. The right conditions for falling asleep in the car require another whole post, so I will spare you the details. Just FYI it’s okay to sleep in the car with the windows closed if someone is mowing a lawn too close to you. I googled it – so it must be correct. Surprisingly, an hour and a half later I had dozed off for a cumulative 20 minutes required for a perfect nap.
Now it was time for the second 3/4th of a cup of a hot beverage so I found a Dunkin’ Donuts close by. Surprisingly this looked like the perfect spot with a chair, table, wifi and even an outlet so I ran and got my laptop. A Vanilla Chai and a coconut donut (mmmm…) later, I realized I’m too sensitive to the air conditioning to actually work there. I’ve always wanted to sit in a park and work, so I bolted out of there and breathed the hot air of August with pleasure. First two parks the GPS found for me were empty plots on the side of the road. Tempting, but probably too high on a weird scale even for me; stay determined, I told myself. Third was a neighborhood dog walking park (I judged by appearance). A little less weird, I think. Safe? Not so sure. Maybe I should check in everywhere I go, in case someone needs to find me. I didn’t want to waste any more time. Plus Rory Gilmore taught us sitting by the right tree for some productive work can be worth a $20 bill, and this tree was completely free! Maybe I would’ve valued it more had it cost me some money, but without any cost, my entomophobia (fear of insects) only let me last there 10 minutes.
Head down, ashamed to be a failure again in front of my invisible audience, I gave up my quest and decided to go shopping instead. Moments before reaching my destination I spotted the perfect park with the perfect number of people around and the perfect tree to park under, which meant a much lower chance to be sipping on my Vanilla Chai with a shot of squirrel droppings. Life you have taught me yet again that it’s okay to give up on dreams. Kidding. But why is it that I get something every time I stop pursuing it? I guess life likes to surprise you that way.
So here I am, 4.5 hours and a half a box of tissues later (because I’m apparently also allergic to normal allergens in the air), wondering if I should have written about something slightly more significant. Stay tuned. Determination is my word of the day.