If I had dug myself a hole for every stupid and embarrassing thing I’ve said and/or gotten myself into, I would have crawled myself to the other side of planet Earth by now. I was thinking back to how I felt I knew all I needed to know 3, 5 or even 10 years ago. At 18, I was glad to finally be an adult and felt like I could make the best decisions because nobody could possibly understand how I felt and all that I’ve learnt from it. Yet the amount of times I have incorrectly believed something and debated it, I’m surprised anyone even listens to me anymore.
So far, what I’ve experienced is that the incidents of yesterday seem quite embarrassing and immature but today I’m so confident again that I’m making the right decisions. I don’t know if this stops when you get to a certain number. If you know, please let me in on the secret.
Regardless of this pattern, with every year that passes, my belief in being content in my knowledge has stayed the same but the mistakes have kept piling on. So I kept letting my bubble of self-perception grow along with the knowledge that came my way. Have I changed? Definitely not as much I want to, but my loved ones put up with me anyway. Even if today I claim to have changed, I know I will look back at this in a year and laugh.
The wise man said himself: “All I know is that I know nothing.” (Socrates)
The reminder that I know nothing and that I can make mistakes and I will forgive myself for them anyway is one of the most comforting and humbling moments of the day for me. Plus they make for great stories and writing material!