To accept and forgive

After experiencing a particularly difficult moment, the ability to be okay again is perhaps one of the toughest affairs and one of the biggest blessings in life.  What’s truly remarkable about human pain is our ability to heal and go on with life. When you think you can’t deal with something, wait. Give it time (durations vary) and see the problem become somewhat easier to solve or see yourself gaining more strength to deal with it. That’s where the tough part comes in.

There are a few different ways in which you can occupy your time meanwhile:

  1. Distract yourself: it may work temporarily but doesn’t solve the problem and may actually exacerbate it by ignoring it. It can be beneficial if you just don’t want to become overburdened by the problem; however, if used often it can become a detrimental habit.
  2. Vent it out – you may feel better for the time being, but it may also not offer a solution and it may not be convenient to find someone to lend an ear to you at a given time… or repeatedly.
  3. While I’m sure there are a lot of other options, after experiencing 1 and 2 briefly, I moved on to my favourite one, which is mindfulness. In this scenario, mindfulness would be acknowledging and accepting the problem without stressing about it. It’s actually the opposite of mind-full-ness as you’re supposed to free your mind of other stuff and be gently present for the task at hand, the thoughts in your head or the feelings in your body without letting your emotions get the best of you. It’s awareness and acceptance without judgement.

For me, the hardest part is being non-judgemental – that takes a lot of practice and is an ongoing struggle. But if you forget to be nonjudgmental, that’s okay too… you don’t have to judge yourself for it and that’s what the next moment is for 🙂 Beautiful, isn’t it? My favourite example of mindfulness is experiencing the details of normal things in life we don’t notice anymore like breathing, feeling the water on our hands when washing dishes, sensation of the sofa we’re sitting on etc.

Anything we experience in life can be enhanced with mindfulness, kind of like a brain drug but without side effects. It’s a favourite topic of mine, and the video that made me fall in love with it is here: Video. More about the topic here.

Hope it brightens your day like it did mine. xox.

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